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Won't You Please Perform an Affordable Care Act?

There are two help plans from which to select, each with its own bank account deductibles:

The Lead Poisoning Plan

In exchange for pledging $1.99 to help us pay for quality health insurance, you will receive a beautifully designed rant about our national health care and mental health care crises, which should provide you with (a) a few minutes of emotional pain relief without having to resort to guzzling codeine cough syrup and (b) some keen insights into how our country is on the verge of cultural, political, and socioeconomic collapse. (You must make a decision about which of these two benefits is more desirable, without first consulting with a mental health practitioner.)

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Corroded Steel Plan

In exchange for pledging $1 to help us pay for quality health insurance, we will try to limit your exposure to the rant available through the Lead Poisoning Plan.

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A Review of My Past Mental Health Plan (a.k.a. Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness, published by Kunati in 2008)*

"Sitcom writer Wendy Aron has written a hysterically funny book about a very unfunny subject: being paralyzed by depression. Perhaps more neurotic than Woody Allen and just as funny, Aron survives a year of self-help groups and therapy by homing in on the scariness and inanities of the meetings. This Jewish New Yorker's sharp, self-deprecating humor can dissolve suffering into laughter." —Hadassah Magazine

* Please do not read this plan because it was written under the influence of the wrong psychiatrist.

A Review of My New Mental Health Plan (a.k.a. the above e-book)**

"I hope your crappy e-book is a huge hit! But if it's not, I'll still love you." —Joe Straus, the best crappy e-book cover illustrator and nephew in Chicago

** Please read this mental health plan because it has been written under the influence of the right psychiatrist and is much shorter than the old plan.